For the Love of Frosting! Part One

OMG FROSTING!

I was never a fan.  I'm usually all about the cake.   I mean, I can't argue that I don't love butter and sugar blended together - my wayward finger is always tasting along the way - but frosting is another story.  It's usually overly sweet and a consistency that just doesn't cut it.  I like icing.  I even like whipped cream from time to time - but that in between space where frosting lives I've never been to keen.  You would most likely see me take a cake - your average store bought brand - and proceed to scrape off the frosting, maybe even give it to someone excited for more.

People really like frosting.

My friend Maggie once shared a bit of frosting from a cake that was flavored with the essence of a tropical flower - like an essential oil.  It was amazing!  My first guess was Earl Grey tea and the second Lavender.  This amazing discovery led me to the idea to experiment with frosting flavors - frosting that I would want to eat.

I had a shitty day - there was no reason to bake a cake.  I got the news that I need surgery on my wrist - it was kind of a backwards congratulations cake.  Or, an anti-depressant.  Whatever you want to call it.  I knew I could get happy by baking a cake.

I went to Whole Foods and bought happy foods (fancy cheese, olives, wine), lavender oil, and Callebaut white chocolate.  Went home hoping I had just enough eggs for a cake.

I did an AMAZING amount of research trying to find a white chocolate cake recipe that suited the ingredients I had available.  A lot of them out there have white chocolate "frosting" with a white cake.  Not what I was looking for.  Others had up to 12 eggs in them!  I had 2.  Also buttermilk - but upon some research, that's easy enough to make yourself.

So it took me about an hour to figure out all the substitutes for a single layer cake with "quick" buttercream frosting.  Now to baking...

YOU WILL NEED:

For the CAKE!

1 1/3 cups sifted all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

2 ounces imported white chocolate (make it fancy!) chopped
1/2 cup whipping cream, split in half
1/4 cup half and half*
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
1 cup sugar, split in half
2 large eggs, separated


For the FROSTING!

3 cups of powdered sugar
Stick of butter (I used half salted, half unsalted)
2-3 tablespoons half and half**
1 teaspoon vanilla extract    
2 drops of Lavender Oil (use with caution!)***

* I used half and half instead of milk because the whipping cream was only 30%.  You can substitute heavy whipping cream for the 30% and milk for the half and half in this recipe.

**I used half and half because there was no heavy cream left.  I used 3 tablespoons because this frosting can get hard to spread if too stiff.  The extra liquid helped.

***Use any essential oil with caution.  It can be dangerous in large amounts - it's distilled to shit!  A little goes a LONG way.



I was so excited for this cake.  I was so excited to bake.  I prep the pan (a 12" layer cake pan), I set the oven to 350.  Step one - melt chocolate and half the cream in a double boiler.

I have no idea how much 2 oz. of chocolate is.  This kitchen must have a scale.  So I go a-searching.  I open one cabinet and BAM!  A glass falls and smashes right in front of me scattering glass everywhere - on the floor, on the counter, in my prepped pan, in my prep bowls: motherfucker.  Good thing I love fucking baking.  The setback and time spent cleaning was a bother, but fuck it!  I need to make this cake and I'm going to make this cake.  However, I have not found a scale.

Plan two - melt chocolate and measure out 2 oz.  It's not the same - but it will do.

I'm melting chocolate and the phone rings - it's Chris!  However, I am in full baking mode and I cannot pay attention to anything he's saying - updating me on Rhode Island's Great Flood of 2010.  Tasting that chocolate is amazing.  I'm usually the darkest of the dark chocolate girl, but a good white chocolate is so creamy and delicious.  The other funny thing is my eyeballing technique worked.  I actually melted exactly 2 oz. of chocolate.  Awesome!

We part ways on the phone.  Multitasking is not wise when baking.  I call him later wishing he was here to share.  I wanted to show off my kitchen talent after his amazing dinners prepared while visiting in March.  Eh.  He went home with banana bread.

Back to baking - Add half the cream to the chocolate.  Blend them together.  Then add the rest of the cream, the half and half, and the vanilla.  Do stick your finger in to taste.

Now grab an electric mixer - one of those hand held dealies work best.  It's hard to blend some ingredients by hand.  Especially when you have to beat eggs into submission.  You can blend butter and sugar together with a spatula but for a light fluffy cake - you need a mixer to beat those eggs.

Take half the sugar and the butter and whip until fluffy.  This shit can fly if you don't use a big bowl and take it easy on the power levels so be careful.  Then beat in the egg yolks.  Add that and the chocolate liquid deliciousness to your sifted dry ingredients and get to those egg whites.

Whipping egg whites is fun.  It's chemistry at work.  Watching this yellow-clear liquid fluff to white meringue with a little help from sugar is so cool!  This step sort of takes a lot of beating but you'll get a light fluffy cake out of it.  My wrist was thankful Miss Anne had a really nice Hamilton Beach mixer.  When it's stiff but (as one recipe said) still wet, incorporate it gently into the batter in two steps.

Stick it in the over - in the center so it's as even as possible.  I lost track of how long it took.  I had dinner and made frosting in the time it took to bake it.  Just be aware and watch.

OK so frosting - this is all about the frosting, right?  I've been babbling about cake making and all you frosting lovers have been sufficiently teased.  READY!  Easiest fucking recipe for frosting.

I suggest you blend the butter and powdered sugar with your hands.  (Or I used one hand.  The left one.)  Powdered sugar is easily airborne.  I learned this my Senior year of high school at CHS when the boys had the brilliant idea to use powdered sugar for their rendition of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" for some spirit week competition.  The entire auditorium tasted like sugar.  It floated like a cloud and put sugar over everything!

Their reason?  Because it was sexier.  It's a great memory.  There are pictures in the 2002 CHS yearbook you can check out if you can get your hands on one.

Once it looks like a paste, add the liquids and start blending.  You can even use food coloring to make it purple if you want.  I did.  One drop blue, 2 drops red.  Use a spoon to drop the oil on to before putting it in.  If more than 3 drops gets into your frosting it's no longer good.  Too much.  Be careful.  Your carefulness will be rewarded with one of the most delicious things you may ever put in your mouth.

I was instantly converted into loving frosting.  This is my first blog post where I implore you - if not the cake than at least the frosting.  It's so different and tasty I couldn't help myself.  The cake wasn't done.  So I just licked my fingers for a while.  Veritable. Culinary. Orgasm.

Took the cake out, let it cool.  Had a cigarette and a couple of glasses of wine.  Prepped the cake for frosting but sticking some squares of tin foil under the edges so when I took them out there wouldn't be crap on the pretty cake plate I found.  Mini spatula did the trick.

It's so pretty!  I can't eat it.

And then I had no one to share this cake with.  Called up a friend but by the time the cake was finished it was almost 10:30 at night.  I will eat it tonight and let you know how it all turned out.  As I said before, I'm usually all about the cake.  I am so looking forward to marrying my old love of cake to my new love of frosting.