It's Carrot Cake... for Breakfast!

New friends Sarah, Christina, and Morgan and I were all chilling out before heading off to see a show and I mentioned that I should have baked something for this impromptu front yard bbq.  Suggestions?  Sarah's was carrot cake, another cake I've never made.  And hey - those baby carrots in the office were asking for more attention than a grab here and there when I get the midday munchies.  

I haven't baked anything good or of significance in months.  I have bounced back and forth from temporary home to temporary home and, even though I still have 9 days (9 DAYS LEFT) to move into my new apartment here in New Orleans - I had to make time to bake.  

Yesterday, starting at about 9pm, I start researching recipes, coming across a Barefoot Contessa recipe that looked pretty basic, used oil instead of butter, and I could easily cut the recipe in half and skip out on the frosting - making kind of a breakfasty bread since the thing was going to be done super late!  I pretty much substituted it to death so it's a pretty good original recipe...

YOU WILL NEED!

1 cup granulated sugar

2/3 cup vegetable oil

2 medium eggs, at room temperature

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 

1 1/4 cups cake flour

1 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1 teaspoons baking soda

3/4 teaspoons kosher salt

1/2 cup chopped pecans

2/3 bag of baby carrots, pretty much 2/3 of a 1lb bag

1/4+ diced fresh green apple

1/2 tablespoon butter

First things first: Oven at 350.

I noticed a time honored tradition of pairing carrots with pineapples.  I didn't have pineapples - had an apple though.  Figured that would be a great substitution.  Hoorah original idea, right?  Well - the reason you use pineapples - or applesauce - is to keep the cake moist.  I say fuck applesauce - make your own!

Take a nice crispy green apple and skin.  The only skinner I could find actually made these little shavings.  I have no idea what this tool is.  

Use this if you want to replicate, but I'll tell you why the aesthetic value of a little green in the batter does absolutely for you.  If not - skin the apple and chop up about a half of an apple, maybe a little more?  I don't know.  Like I said - it was an adventure in substitution.  I made sure the chunks were small, but I knew they would cook down a little too.  Touch your forefinger to your thumb, lightly and then bring your two sets together and touch lightly.  That big.  Cook in a pan in the butter until spongy.

Since I had already eaten some of my carrots and I couldn't split or measure out a half a pound I just used all of it, which was about 2/3 of a bag.  Chopped them to bits in the food processor.  It make a lot of carrots!  It was a pretty loud process.  (Did I mention I was watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" with Jay while doing all of this?)

This is a pretty super easy cake.  Next steps are what you'd expect - blend wet ingredients, sift dry ingredients, mix together, fold in carrots, apples, and pecans.  I would suggest using an electric mixer for the wet ingredients.  Beat those eggs up.  Also, really sift the dry ingredients if you have a sifter  Otherwise just blend with a whisk.  When you blend the wet with the dry - don't be afraid that the mix is a little thick and sticky.  The moisture in the carrots and apples will bring the batter to a good consistency.

And man, when you mix this up it literally looks like puke.  It was actually pretty gross.  With mine, since it had the little green flecks, the apple chunks, the brown bits of pecan - it looks so gross!  Julia concurred.  I did not take a picture of this to show you as to not discourage.  If your mix looks like someone blew chunks into a cake pan, don't worry - it's going to work out.  I mean, I got a little nervous but it tasted pretty awesome so I stuck it in the oven.   

After it started to bake it started to smell amazing!  This recipe has a lot of cinnamon in it so that started to warm up with the sugar and just make the kitchen smell great.  It takes about an hour - but babysit.  Everyone's oven is different and never perfectly calibrated.  So check with toothpicks until they come out clean.

I finished at about 12am.  Between bites of pizza and being involved in the movie it was a pretty long process.  I ate a piece when it was still warm, teasing my Chris from the distance over skype.  He'll get to have my baking soon enough when he moves down early September!

MMM....breakfast cake.  The only reason it's breakfast cake is because I wanted to eat it for breakfast.  Like breakfast pizza or something.  But I bet if you frosted it it would make a fine fine cake for whatever.  Also - you could double the recipe and layer with cream-cheese frosting.  

However -  I think that if you put more flour it may make the cake heartier.  I used unbleached cake flour but I bet if you use whole wheat all purpose , less sugar?  I'll have to get with Finney, new friend addition, another intro via Julia.  She has been experimenting with scones, which is awesome - I bet carrot & green apple scones with pecans would work there too.

For now - I'm back, fellow baking lovers.  Sorry for the 2 month delay.  Had to get my shit together, still have shit to get together!  But...more baking to come.  Love and Cake.

Butter Bakes Better Boxed Brownies

I busted my hand biking.  Corinne vs. Streetcar Rails - Rails: 1, Corinne: 0.  (or, $0 damage to rails and $100s of dollars spent on busted wrist.)

Ok, so the title says it all.  Chris spends his spring break with me in New Orleans because he fell in love with the city, too.  This is awesome for three reasons.  One, the city has another lover.  Two, I get to share him with her.  Three, Chris cooks very well.  Whoever said the way to a man's heart is his stomach forgot that women like delicious food, too.  So, Chris is making amazing dinner (again) and he bought boxed brownie mix for dessert - because Jen can't eat nuts.  But she came to dinner last night, so I'm going to put chocolate chips and pecans in it, too.  Because I can now.

PS - If you're in the South, it "pih-cahns," not "pea-cans."  They will correct you and scoff if you get it wrong.  

At least this time I was coherent enough to read the directions - and I followed them!  But, what?  No oil!  Easy substitution!  Butter!  1/2 cup oil = 1/2 cup butter.  Or, whatever it calls for, same = same.  Butter makes everything better.  They definitely make brownies better.  I think that it takes longer to bake though.  You have to do the toothpick test: stick it in and if it comes out wet you're not done.





...I know there's someone reading with a dirty mind - also my friends must think everything I say is a "That's What She Said Joke."  This is also why there's a warning before you read my blog.  Because I have a dirty mind.  And I do fucking swear like, a lot...

And yes, the brownie edges will be over done but that's what makes them great.  If you're baking for friends, keep the crust for yourself.  Because it's the best part.  Right?  And it makes for pretty presentation for your friends so they think you're being all fancy and shit.  I think I ate almost all the brownie edges one night drinking too much bourbon.

So, next time you want to be a lazy baker, make those box brownies better with butter.

Also, hooray alliteration!  The blog was brought to by the letter "B" (for butter, brownies, and bourbon, and busted by bicycle) and also by the support of my left hand, exclusively.  


NEXT TIME: epic entry on the best fucking banana bread you will every have in your life.

Saving Cornbread (or I'm an Idiot)

Cornbread.  The easiest fucking thing to make in the world because the directions are on the BOX!

If you're going to make cornbread, you might as well give up the scratch recipe in favor of a good ol' box of Jiffy Mix - because it's easy, and fast, and it's nice to have something warm for breakfast on a Saturday Morning.  Yum, right?

I'm not going to give you the directions, because they're on the BOX!

And in my somewhat silly morning stupor (I did get a little tipsy with my Southern Mother last night) I actually looked at the side of the box for bread rather than the muffin directions.  I somehow managed to read the corn pancakes recipe and made that instead...for bread.  But, in fact, the directions told me what I've always done - just follow the muffin recipe.  Now I'm looking at a fully buttered pan and a too-wet-for-bread mix for pancakes.

But I don't want pancakes.  I want cornbread.

If you EVER have this problem...which I hope you never do because it is incredibly easy to follow the recipe ON THE BOX!!!...the trick I've always used is add flour until it looks like what it should look like.  It's not a science and you can fuck it up if you put too much in and it ends up being too dry.  So - approach with caution.

But I don't have flour.  I'm living in a house that does not have flour.  What do I have?  I have swedish pancake mix.  Ok.  We'll try that.  It's looking good.  It might even taste a little sweeter.  Or Sweder.

Anybody?  Ok.  Bad joke. Moving on.

Oven at 400.  Watching it until it looks good enough to eat.  Or smells done.  (That is an amazingly good sign for done in baking.)  Before I take it out I'll do the tooth pick test to make sure it's cooked through.  Cross your fingers, kids.


----- exactly 20 minutes later -----

Looks good.  Took a picture with the cell phone.  Cutting though?  Incredibly fluffy.

Not dry at all!  This had has learned to master adding flour!  Of course, I wouldn't have had to do anything if I had just followed directions on the BOX!  (I am beside myself how idiot a move that was.)

What have I learned?  Don't try and bake 10 minutes after getting out of bed.  With a slight hangover.

Or, at least, have a coffee first so you remember you can read.